Welcome to Bawstin ( Boston)
by Anonymous
For those of you who have never been to ‘Bawstin’, this is a good
guideline. I hope you will consider coming to ‘Beantown’ in the near
future.
For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!
Information on Boston and the surrounding area:
There’s no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on
Dock Square, no water on Water Street.
Back Bay streets are in alphabetical ‘oddah’: Arlington, Berkeley,
Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
If the streets are named after trees, (e.g Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar),
you’re on Beacon Hill.
If they’re named after poets, you’re in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm Ave; South Boston
is Southie.
The South End is the South End. East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay
Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.
How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
**Say it wrong, be shunned**
Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah), Gloucester: Glawsta, Leicester Lesta,
Woburn: Wooban, Dedham : Dead-um, Revere: Re-vee-ah, Quincy: Quinzee,
Tewksbury: Tooks berry, Leominster: Lemin-sta, Peabody:
Pee-ba-dee, Waltham: Walth-ham, Chatham: Chaddum, Samoset: Sam-oh-set
or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summer set !
Definitions: Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don’t. If it is fizzy
and flavored, it’s tonic. Soda is CLUB SODA. ‘Pop’ is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER. The smallest
beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more
than $6/pound, you got scrod.
It’s not a water fountain; it’s a bubblah. It’s not a trashcan; it’s a
barrel.
It’s not a spucky, a hero or grinder,…it’s a sub.
It’s not a shopping cart; it’s a carriage. It’s not a purse; it’s a
pocketbook.
They’re not franks; they’re haht dahgs; Franks are money
in Switzahland.
Police don’t drive patrol units or black and whites; they drive a
‘crooza’. If you take the bus, you’re on the ‘looza crooza’.
It’s not a rubber band, it’s an elastic. It’s not a traffic circle; it’s a
rotary.
‘Going to the islands’ means Martha’s Vineyard & Nantucket.
The Sox = The Red Sox. The C’s = The Celtics. The B’s = The Bruins.
Things not to do: Don’t pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they’ll tow it
to Meffa ( Medford ) or Summerville (Somerville).
Don’t sleep on the Common. ( Boston Common)
Don’t wear Orange on St. Patrick’s Day.
Things you should know: There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two
courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new for each).
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weather’:
‘Solid blue, clear view…’ ‘Flashing blue, clouds due….’
‘Solid red, rain ahead…..’ ‘Flashing red, snow instead….’ – (except in
summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out).
Most people live here all their life and still don’t know what the hell
is going on with this one.
Route 128 is also I-95 south. It’s also I-93 north.
The underground train is not a subway. It’s the ‘T’, and it doesn’t run
all night. (fah-chrys-akes, this ain’t Noo Yawk).
Order the ‘cold tea’ in China Town after 2:00 am – you’ll get a kettle
full of beer.
Bostonians… think that it’s their God-given right to cut off someone in
traffic.
Bostonians…think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R’s
– except in ‘idear’).
Bostonians…think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat
wave.
Bostonians…refer to six inches of snow as ‘dusting.’
Bostonians…always ‘bang a left’ as soon as the light turns green, and
oncoming traffic always expects it.
Bostonians…believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians…think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians…think Rhode Island accents are annoying.
P.S If you pass this on … Don’t use your spell checker or you’ll never get it thru?